Di Di (dye - dye)
Fraternal Twin
"They're so hyper active. Flipping and kicking all over the place, by the time I try and take a photo they've moved." My high risk doctors office was always the most exciting place to have an appointment. I just knew leaving there I would have the most incredible pictures of our baby boys. Not to mention seeing them in full motion, playing and kicking, hearts beating 150m.
This last visit on the 22nd of March, we were so excited on our way to see them. We took selfies of our little growing family, and were going to find out the sex of both babies that day (although a specialist had already given me a heads up that one twin was a boy). A usual visit, the babies were so lively and active we could barely get our 3D pictures taken, and my fiance`could barely get his camera out to record (he had never been to the high risk doctor with me) because he was so fascinated with the technology. In the end, we found out we were in fact having two boys, and the calls to family officially started right in that room. Planning to do a gender reveal in the next month at our Los Angeles baby shower, the whole ride home we were going back and forth about boys names, and at last had decided on names.
People say life can change overnight, in a matter of hours, seconds..
For myself, the 29th of March seemed like another day like any other work day. It was my second day back to work since I had been taken off for complications and dehydration, and although I seemed to have some pain and tightening in my lower abdomen, it seemed like the usual pains. Little did I know the events that would follow. I sent a video of the 3 of us to my fiance` on the way into work, and two hours later, my heart dropped and the life or lives that I'd spent so much time and effort planning had stopped.
1 in 4 women. 1 in 4 women. 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage, or in my case because it happened before 20 weeks, spontaneous abortion. No matter how many times I've read or heard the statistic, the way I feel has yet to change. The layers of grief seem to peel off of me at this slow and steady pace. And although I want to start to forget the events, I feel like I want to hold on to it all.
Experiencing the stages of motherhood for however long any woman has, can feel like a newfound super power, its like nothing you've ever felt before. This experience is one that cant be compared to anyone else, its your own journey, your own succession. For me, I've learned how important it is to read your body, and how so many different aspects play a part into how your body progressively changes with age.
The next step to creating my "rainbow baby" (baby that follows a miscarriage) is a part of my personal journey. This journey now has a warrior strong enough to take on whatever comes her way.
noun
one of a pair of twins, not necessarily resembling each other, or of the same sex, that develop from two separately fertilized ova.
"They're so hyper active. Flipping and kicking all over the place, by the time I try and take a photo they've moved." My high risk doctors office was always the most exciting place to have an appointment. I just knew leaving there I would have the most incredible pictures of our baby boys. Not to mention seeing them in full motion, playing and kicking, hearts beating 150m.
This last visit on the 22nd of March, we were so excited on our way to see them. We took selfies of our little growing family, and were going to find out the sex of both babies that day (although a specialist had already given me a heads up that one twin was a boy). A usual visit, the babies were so lively and active we could barely get our 3D pictures taken, and my fiance`could barely get his camera out to record (he had never been to the high risk doctor with me) because he was so fascinated with the technology. In the end, we found out we were in fact having two boys, and the calls to family officially started right in that room. Planning to do a gender reveal in the next month at our Los Angeles baby shower, the whole ride home we were going back and forth about boys names, and at last had decided on names.
People say life can change overnight, in a matter of hours, seconds..
People also say, or think that, oh that couldn't or wouldn't ever happen to me or my family. But the truth is, life is like a game of chance. You never know what obstacles, tragedies, or blessings you will come across when you open your eyes in the morning, and take a breath. All you do know is what has happened the day before, the week before, or what you can anticipate your routine day to be like. If you're a religious or spiritual being, you might say that you can anticipate what your day will be, as long as you wake with positive thoughts, and embrace your faith.
For myself, the 29th of March seemed like another day like any other work day. It was my second day back to work since I had been taken off for complications and dehydration, and although I seemed to have some pain and tightening in my lower abdomen, it seemed like the usual pains. Little did I know the events that would follow. I sent a video of the 3 of us to my fiance` on the way into work, and two hours later, my heart dropped and the life or lives that I'd spent so much time and effort planning had stopped.
1 in 4 women. 1 in 4 women. 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage, or in my case because it happened before 20 weeks, spontaneous abortion. No matter how many times I've read or heard the statistic, the way I feel has yet to change. The layers of grief seem to peel off of me at this slow and steady pace. And although I want to start to forget the events, I feel like I want to hold on to it all.
Experiencing the stages of motherhood for however long any woman has, can feel like a newfound super power, its like nothing you've ever felt before. This experience is one that cant be compared to anyone else, its your own journey, your own succession. For me, I've learned how important it is to read your body, and how so many different aspects play a part into how your body progressively changes with age.
The next step to creating my "rainbow baby" (baby that follows a miscarriage) is a part of my personal journey. This journey now has a warrior strong enough to take on whatever comes her way.
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